Confidence Doesn’t Come First - Choice Does
Nov 24 2025
If you’re waiting to feel ready before you make a decision, especially a big one, I have one very tough truth to share with you, you might be waiting forever!
Most women I know (and I fully include myself in this) struggle not because we don’t know what to do… but because we’re afraid of what happens if the decision is wrong. We’re afraid of being judged or being blamed. We worry that we will confirm the story we hear in our head that we’re not experienced enough, not strategic enough, not “leader” enough.
Meanwhile, how many choices do we make every day without even realizing it?
We make decisions all the time; when to speak up, how to support someone, which opportunity to say yes to, which one to walk away from. Many of those choices have shaped our families, communities, and careers.
The reality is: confidence doesn’t always come before the decision, many times it comes after.
Why Decision-Making Feels Risky
There are three big reasons so many women hesitate.
Fear of making the wrong choice - We don’t want to cause harm or waste time.
Fear of being visible - Decision-makers are held accountable.
Fear of stepping ahead - Especially when others haven’t caught up.
But here’s what we often forget, indecision is also a decision, and staying stuck carries its own risks. This includes missed opportunities, burnout from carrying uncertainty, and giving someone else the power to choose for us.
The Power of Practicing Small Choices
Most strong decision-makers didn’t start with the big calls.
They began by treating small choices like practice.
Say yes to an opportunity even if you’re not 100% ready.
Call the meeting.
Send the email.
Share the idea.
Delegate something you usually hold onto.
Try something before you’ve perfected it.
The more decisions we make intentionally, even the small ones, the more our confidence strengthens. Clarity grows with movement.
A Few Questions to Try When You Feel Stuck
When you’re hesitating, try asking yourself:
What is the worst that could realistically happen if I choose this? What is the best that could happen?
If someone I respect were in my shoes, what would they do?
If fear wasn’t part of the equation, what would I choose?
Is staying undecided making things better… or harder?
Take a moment and sit with your answers.
You’ve Already Made Brave Decisions
Think back to a time you acted even though you weren’t fully ready.
Didn’t you figure things out as you went?
Didn’t you adapt, adjust, keep going?
That wasn’t luck.
That was leadership.
Confidence Is Built Through Action
You don’t learn confidence from reading about it, or by waiting for the moment you feel absolutely certain.
You build it by moving forward even when you think you are not.
One decision at a time.
One small risk.
One moment of backing your own judgment.
And the more often you do that, the more you come to trust yourself.
So, what’s one decision you’ve been holding onto?
It doesn’t need to be groundbreaking.
You’re allowed to start small.
What would it look like to make that decision today - not because you feel ready, but because you are capable?
I’d love to hear in the comments.